Saturday, March 17, 2007
today is yeeler's birthday... and we went out to celebrate with him.. the nine of us - QingHui, MingHui, Amelia, Aloysius, YanRui, BenLiew, Ivan, and YeeLer himself... went to glasshouse (Fish&Co. near church)...
well, we ate... and chatted... but what really caught my mind was amelia... she told the staff at Fish&Co. to prepare a mini "birthday" celebration for yeeler... why so special, to him, and to me... because i realised one of my greatest weakness - being careless about such intricate details... for me, a birthday dinner meant a birthday dinner, nothing else... and i would never have thought of asking them to do such stuff... i remember reading from someone's blog about how a guy brought his girlfriend to sentosa and bluffed the girl to buy Ben&Jerry's ice-cream but in the end the ppl at ben&jerry's gave the girl a nice surprise ice cream... similarly, i wouldn't have thought of that... i wonder why... why am i so insensitive to such stuff??? why can't i think of such "surprises"???
gRRR...
not that it mattered a lot today, but i guess it's a weakness that i have to overcome, and a skill to be learnt - quickly... but i realised i have indeed changed quite a lot due to the army... i realised that i am much less cheerful and "optimistic"; and well, there just seems to be much less jokes up in that head than it was before... and it's bad... i want my laughter; i want the funny me back... what can i do??? what should i do???
may be i'm just too tired... being sick of the army life, sick of being in a group of male people who are equally insensible... being in such a highly competitive world that it seems that everything you do has to serve an ulterior motive for one's own benefit... where is the love??? where is the care and concern for one another??? where is the unconditional love that had once flooded my entire life with???
i'm confused... i'm lost... and i want to be found again... i don't know... argh...
i guess this is the first time i published such an emotional post... hmmz... i don't know why too.. perhaps the semi-conscious mind of mine thinks that vomiting all the bad stuff out would make me feel better... maybe it's true... i tink i'm feeling better already... or am i???
- i need some rest, soon - insensitivities of the weary mind -
hmmmz... weird post, God tell me why...
well, we ate... and chatted... but what really caught my mind was amelia... she told the staff at Fish&Co. to prepare a mini "birthday" celebration for yeeler... why so special, to him, and to me... because i realised one of my greatest weakness - being careless about such intricate details... for me, a birthday dinner meant a birthday dinner, nothing else... and i would never have thought of asking them to do such stuff... i remember reading from someone's blog about how a guy brought his girlfriend to sentosa and bluffed the girl to buy Ben&Jerry's ice-cream but in the end the ppl at ben&jerry's gave the girl a nice surprise ice cream... similarly, i wouldn't have thought of that... i wonder why... why am i so insensitive to such stuff??? why can't i think of such "surprises"???
gRRR...
not that it mattered a lot today, but i guess it's a weakness that i have to overcome, and a skill to be learnt - quickly... but i realised i have indeed changed quite a lot due to the army... i realised that i am much less cheerful and "optimistic"; and well, there just seems to be much less jokes up in that head than it was before... and it's bad... i want my laughter; i want the funny me back... what can i do??? what should i do???
may be i'm just too tired... being sick of the army life, sick of being in a group of male people who are equally insensible... being in such a highly competitive world that it seems that everything you do has to serve an ulterior motive for one's own benefit... where is the love??? where is the care and concern for one another??? where is the unconditional love that had once flooded my entire life with???
i'm confused... i'm lost... and i want to be found again... i don't know... argh...
i guess this is the first time i published such an emotional post... hmmz... i don't know why too.. perhaps the semi-conscious mind of mine thinks that vomiting all the bad stuff out would make me feel better... maybe it's true... i tink i'm feeling better already... or am i???
- i need some rest, soon - insensitivities of the weary mind -
hmmmz... weird post, God tell me why...
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