went to church today, and we had our new preacher, HongLi preacher to speak to us about giving thanks... he spoke about what difference does it make, if 10 very sick people, with terminal illness probably (out of which 9 are christians and 1 non-christian) met Jesus one day and they all asked him for help... and when they get healed, all 9 christians left joyful and that one non-christian came back to thank jesus for healing him... the 9 christians probably thought that it's only rightful for Jesus to heal them because they are his children, yet that one non-christian thanked Jesus out of his heart and out of gratitude... in that scenario, wouldn't the non-christian be more deserving of the kingdom of god than the 9 christians? putting it in another way for christians, are we satisfied being saved by the knowledge and recognition of god, or do we want to be saved by honouring our father in heaven...

i would dare say i have no problem in giving credit to my father in heaven... because deep within me, i know that i am born scratched, born of dust and born weak... yet it is my father in heaven who raised me up, moulded me and really sandpapered me to the person i've became today... friends i have today see me as a different person as my primary school friends saw me... and i would really say that if by my own strength, i would have achieved nothing... BUT... all these, are simply just words... i can give thanks, sing praises to my God, but what about actions??? we all know that action speaks louder than words, than why am i simply using words and not actions? what can i do, for that matter??? and today's message from the preacher gave me the answer... by bringing people to christ, so that more people can bear testimonies to the grace of god... but once again, it's easy to say, but hard to do...

it's really easy for people in "hot" churches to bring more and more people to christ, because they captured the need for songs and music in youths today... but the church i belong to, and my belief system is the traditional presbyterian belief... and the songs i sing, can do without any accompanying instruments... a piano's a blessing, classical or acoustic guitar's a luxury... how then am i supposed to bring one to christ... and once again, the answer is told today... since i belong to a traditional church, i'll have to use traditional methods to bring people to christ... and that is by personally sharing about god's grace to me, not on media or in this case, blogs, but personally... by telling my bestest of best friends, and really showering my love and care for them... so that they may see in me, a difference that they cannot find elsewhere... a peace that comes from above, and a supernatural motivation that does not succumb to any earthly setbacks... but really, it's hard...

how often do you see a guy sharing something personal with you... men are a group of people bubbled up in their own world, and sealed from within of all the criss-cross from the outer world... and this divider is called pride... men would rather stay silent than to tell his good friend his innermost secrets, while women would readily shoot out their smallest, biggest, and most humiliating problem to their good and trusted friends... and really, sometimes i do feel embarrassed by the mere fact that i am a guy... why do i have to uphold an image that does not really reflect who i am? and while i can be there to be others' listening ear, who would be mine? are men really that emotionally strong that they can bear their own emotional tensions, plus all the others that people add on to us??? sometimes, i really wonder... no wonder god made man with partners... because it's that special some one who can be there for men to really strip their emotional self naked and to really share with that some one all the ups and downs of his life... but once again, when will that day come by? i'll be waiting...