today's my last day at trusted hub.. and it was just sad to leave because i just got to know this group of very fun and lovely people.. sadly they "sacked" jonathan and chee guan, but there's new people like chee guan's cousin jane, and zhen ci, who kept me entertained throughout the day.. gosh it makes me feel bad to leave, and somehow makes me have second thoughts about starting work in alexandra hospital.. but i know that i have already signed the contract and i should probably look ahead to better pay and more friends..

i'm still very sad that i missed wishing qinghui a last farewell on the 9-month trip to australia for her studies.. her flight's at 9:10pm yesterday and i was still eating sashimi then.. and a sudden wave of sadness came over me because i was quite angry with her that i didn't tell her that it was my birthday when we met for steamboat dinner on wednesday.. and she did ask, but i insisted it was july.. and somehow weijie, aloysius and jackie didn't say a word.. but still i was quite pissed that she could still be at her house at the time we're supposed to meet.. like "hello even if you flew you'd need time?".. but it could have been my fault because i didn't tell her that it was my birthday, and if i had told her, perhaps she would have came on time.. perhaps i was expecting too much..

which leads to the question of whether we have the right to be angry at somebody.. like at some people who always arrives late (the above 30 mins late kind) and never makes the effort to change, and those who are still at home when everybody else has arrived, and at those who doesn't make a effort to join in the flow and to come on time, or at those who promised (or hinted) that they would be there and not have the courtesy to inform of their last-minute back-down plans, or at parents who promises toys and visits to the zoo just to keep their son happy but knowing that they would never be buying those toys and bringing him to the zoo after he stops crying, or at mum who nags and nags but never seems to bother finding out the real reason why we kids are doing certain things the way we do.. in these cases, who is the judge? morals?? or is it logic?? or have we been merely looking from our side, but not at their side of the story??

sometimes you grow up to see friends change, some for good, some for worse.. and some friends disappear for a long time and you suddenly cross paths with him again.. people like shenghui and keith whom i would be meeting in NUS faculty of science.. and yet the people who distanced, like melvyn and jana (sec 1 sec 2??), like esther (sec 4 till a month ago)..

i suddenly remember the song, friends, by michael w. smith.. and friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the Lord of them.. and reminds me about the conversation with rosel at fish and co some time ago.. would you date someone if he or she is not of the same religion (not even free thinkers).. well, if the Lord's not the Lord of them, nothing lasts forever, right?? ok, it's something only christians will know, but ohwell, i should stop emo-ing.. and look at friends as they are now..

friends are lovely, friends are chewy, friends are huggable, friends are the spices and everything nice (minus the chemical x that makes them fly (away) like powerpuff girls).. LOL..